Tag Archives: bad decisions

The Dreaded G Word

25 Jun

So I think I am in a relationship, which sucks because I really don’t want to be in a relationship.

Remember Leo? He has been coming over a lot lately. Like, a lot. And when he comes over, he spends the night every time; even if we don’t have sex.

I am not really comfortable with how much he has been coming over. I mean, he will come over for days, and while we do fun stuff like go on hikes or offroading, on bike rides, swimming, to movies, to dinner, or out for drinks with friends, he always stays the night. Always.

Oh, and he keeps fixing stuff on my car. He even put gas in it the other day. I am grateful, but geez! I’ve known the guy for three weeks!

You want to spend thirty hours in a car with me? What?

Now he’s making plans for fourth of July weekend because he will be on leave for a week, and he was talking about taking me up to see his sister and her family!! What?! NO! Then he said that he would like me to come with him when he has to drive back to his base on the east coast at the end of July. He said he wants to take me to DC and to the beach and to some other touristy places between here and there, and he would buy a plane ticket to fly me home.

Leo is nice and all, but I don’t know about driving cross-country with him, and I definitely don’t want to meet his family.

That conversation freaked me out a little bit…

The Dreaded “G Word”

We went out the next night with one of his military buddies to watch the UFC fight, and I jokingly said that I shouldn’t have to pay the cover charge if I wasn’t planning on watching the fight. Then Leo said, “I’ll just tell the bouncer that you are my blind girlfriend so we don’t have to pay your cover.” The guys laughed. I didn’t.

I know he was joking about me being his blind girlfriend, but he still said girlfriend. NOOOO!

My Moral Dilemma

Some of my friends have said that I need to have a conversation with him about how I am not ready for a relationship right now and blah blah blah, but I don’t know if that is necessary since Leo is going to Japan for two years. Right?

Plus, I’ll be out of town for the last two weeks of July and the first week of August, so the cross country thing probably wouldn’t work anyway…and we really only have two more weeks to spend together before we both leave town. Why should I hurt him if he is leaving the country for two years anyway? Why not just keep smiling until then?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated (especially if it is the kind of advice that I want to hear). What would you do in this situation?

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Please Don’t Talk During Sex. Thanks.

15 Jun

Back in April I met Adam, the captain of our softball league. I’ve been meaning to write about him for a while, so this is post is a bit overdue.

Meeting Adam

At the beginning of this semester I made friends with Carrie, another young teacher from my district. We had plans to go to a popular country bar in town, so I donned my new boots and my rhinestone cowgirl hat and drove to Carrie’s house. When I found her house, a few of her friends were already there. Including Adam.

Adam and I bonded over our love of country music, and I teased him for wearing a cardigan and a faux-hawk. He kept calling me a “peach” and he asked me to dance a few times. By the end of the night, he had my number and we kissed goodnight at Carrie’s front door.

I woke up on Carrie’s couch early the next morning ready to go home, but I had drunkenly given my car keys to Adam in the parking lot the night before and forgot to get them back from him. When he came back to Carrie’s house to return my car keys, Carrie oh-so-thoughtfully brought up my bookroom sexcapades in front of Adam. Swell.

Naked Adam

I didn’t really hear from Adam again (shocking!) until Carrie and I ran into him at a baseball game about a month later. After the game Adam invited me to watch a movie with him at his house where we drank wine and ate frozen mashed bananas with chocolate sauce. Naturally one thing led to another and we ended up making-out on his couch.

Originally, I didn’t want to have sex with him so soon, but after an hour or two of foreplay and a couple more glasses of wine, I gave in. The sex was good in the beginning, and it was adventurous too. We moved from bedroom to living room to kitchen and then back to bedroom. Then he went soft. Literally.

Just as we moved back to the bedroom, Adam decided to ask me a question:

Adam: “Is the bookroom better than this?”

Me: “No!”

 Adam: “Really?”

He seemed surprised by my answer, so I felt the need to explain.

Me: “Of course not! It’s a bookroom. It sucks.”

By this point he started to go soft, so I too decided to suck. It didn’t work. WTF?!

Adam: “I think we had a miscommunication.”

 Me: “Clearly.”

 Adam: “I asked you if this was better than the bookroom, and you said no.”

Oops.

Me: “Ooh, I heard, ‘Is the bookroom better.’ Of course this is better than the bookroom!”

 By that point the sex was over, even though he didn’t finish. I rolled off of him and got dressed. We hung out for a little bit longer and he wanted to finish what we started, but the moment had passed. He walked me out to my car and kissed me goodnight, and we agreed that we would do it again sometime.

It’s been a month, and it hasn’t happened again.

I know the Adam story isn’t over yet because since that night he has given me some signs that he is still interested – but that’ll be another blog post.

Lingering Thoughts

  • Who brings up past sex partners in the middle of sex?!?!
  • Adam must be very insecure to feel the need to ask me for validation.
  • Carrie has a big mouth and I am never telling her anything ever again.

Why Books are Awesome

3 May

I love books. Books are awesome. I love how certain books such as Harry Potter, The Hunger Games, and The Outlander Series give me the thrill of adventure and excitement without having to put down my glass of wine. I have a tendency to suffer from post-book depression, which is common in avid readers. Post-book depression occurs when I finish a fantastic book or series with the knowledge that there are no new adventures to be had with my fictional friends. Good books leave a lasting impression.

I also love books because they can be kept in a bookroom. I have a bookroom in my classroom, and this bookroom shelves many exciting adventures between the pages…and out. Lately, I have gotten into a naughty habit of creating my own adventures in this bookroom with another teacher at school. Let’s call him Viper. I am currently typing this while waiting for Viper to come “borrow a book.” I love my job.

(By the way, this post is not actually about books, so if that’s what you are looking for you will not find it here. Keep looking.)

Middle School Crush

The Viper adventure began a couple of months before The Breakup. I tend to give off anti-technology vibes, so I have frequent need of the computer tech at our school. Naturally a friendship developed, but because I was in my loyal-girlfriend-state-of-mind I didn’t really pick up on his not-so-subtle flirty comments.

It got to the point when every time I would call him with a computer problem, he would tell me, “I can fix it, but it’ll cost you.” When I would ask him his price, he would ask for a cup of coffee. You should know that I make fabulous coffee. I have a knack for eyeballing the perfect coffee grounds to water ratio. Add a dash of cinnamon and BAM! The perfect cup of black coffee.

In January we became Facebook friends, and he started messaging me on the weekends. Our messages started out friendly, but they soon became flirtier and flirtier. When he would stop by my room for coffee, he would hang out for a few minutes while waiting for it to “finish” brewing, even when it was done. Every time he stopped by a curious thing happened: I was suddenly very horny.

Good Vibrations

Feeling the tingle below the belt is quite unexpected in a room full of stinky middle school students, but Viper just had a way of instantly turning me on. I started to fantasize about him on my drives to and from work. After G rated conversations with him after school, I would still be turned on when I got home an hour later. Then, he started to send me Facebook messages at six in the morning. That was when I finally figured out that he was interested.

I think Viper was the wake-up call I needed to break up with The Ex. I mean, The Ex and I had a horrible sex life. We had sex about once a month, and even that was a chore. I think it was partially because I didn’t have any respect for The Ex as a man considering his alcoholism, his lack of direction, his dead end pizza delivery job, and his frequent degrading comments towards me; but I am now sure that it was also because The Ex didn’t have a clue about foreplay. He would spring a boner and be ready to pounce without trying to start my engine first. Viper, on the other hand, is a foreplay GOD!

But I’m jumping ahead of myself, and I would like to clarify that I didn’t start fooling around with Viper until about a month after The Breakup.

The Epiphany

Viper helped me to realize a few different things:

a) There are other eligible men in this city, not just The Ex.

b) Many of these other men have much more going for them than The Ex did.

c) Some of these other men actually want me.

d) I could break up with The Ex and thrive instead of simply survive.

Not that I am looking for a new relationship with Viper or anybody else for that matter, nor do I need to have a man in my life to feel like I am worth something, but Viper helped me to realize that I am a strong independent woman who doesn’t need to waste any more time with a loser. I should take advantage of my youth and have fun instead.

And that’s what I’m doing.

In the bookroom.

But more about that later…