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Guilt-Free Mid-Afternoon Sugar Fix

25 Jun

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One banana, all natural peanut butter, and some honey. This satisfies my cravings for dessert and fills me up for a couple of hours. It is also a great source of natural energy!

Don’t worry, nobody will judge you for licking the plate when you are done.

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The Dreaded G Word

25 Jun

So I think I am in a relationship, which sucks because I really don’t want to be in a relationship.

Remember Leo? He has been coming over a lot lately. Like, a lot. And when he comes over, he spends the night every time; even if we don’t have sex.

I am not really comfortable with how much he has been coming over. I mean, he will come over for days, and while we do fun stuff like go on hikes or offroading, on bike rides, swimming, to movies, to dinner, or out for drinks with friends, he always stays the night. Always.

Oh, and he keeps fixing stuff on my car. He even put gas in it the other day. I am grateful, but geez! I’ve known the guy for three weeks!

You want to spend thirty hours in a car with me? What?

Now he’s making plans for fourth of July weekend because he will be on leave for a week, and he was talking about taking me up to see his sister and her family!! What?! NO! Then he said that he would like me to come with him when he has to drive back to his base on the east coast at the end of July. He said he wants to take me to DC and to the beach and to some other touristy places between here and there, and he would buy a plane ticket to fly me home.

Leo is nice and all, but I don’t know about driving cross-country with him, and I definitely don’t want to meet his family.

That conversation freaked me out a little bit…

The Dreaded “G Word”

We went out the next night with one of his military buddies to watch the UFC fight, and I jokingly said that I shouldn’t have to pay the cover charge if I wasn’t planning on watching the fight. Then Leo said, “I’ll just tell the bouncer that you are my blind girlfriend so we don’t have to pay your cover.” The guys laughed. I didn’t.

I know he was joking about me being his blind girlfriend, but he still said girlfriend. NOOOO!

My Moral Dilemma

Some of my friends have said that I need to have a conversation with him about how I am not ready for a relationship right now and blah blah blah, but I don’t know if that is necessary since Leo is going to Japan for two years. Right?

Plus, I’ll be out of town for the last two weeks of July and the first week of August, so the cross country thing probably wouldn’t work anyway…and we really only have two more weeks to spend together before we both leave town. Why should I hurt him if he is leaving the country for two years anyway? Why not just keep smiling until then?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated (especially if it is the kind of advice that I want to hear). What would you do in this situation?

Ignoring Signs Leads to Disappointment

19 Jun

I had a date tonight. My date was with Ivan, a guy I knew while student teaching. I ran into him two nights in a row a couple of weekends ago, and we exchanged numbers. I had high hopes for this date: we are both into education, I had a mini-crush on him while we were in college, and he is appropriate for me to date (meaning he isn’t friends with my ex, I don’t work with him, he hasn’t hooked up with one of my friends, and he isn’t the captain of my softball team).

 The date was lukewarm, at best. I should have known better, too. All of the signs were there, but I am a kind, forgiving person so I ignored them.

Ivan sent me a text around 8:40 on Friday night asking me if I would like to grab a drink. I didn’t respond to the text since I was eating dinner with Leo (more about him in another post). About an hour later he sent me another text saying “Some other time hopefully. lol” I responded with a quick “for sure!” text, and he sent me a smiley face.

(By the way, am I the only one who finds it annoying when people put “LOL” after things that shouldn’t make them laugh out loud? Are they really laughing out loud, or is that just a way of conveying a carefree tone? I use smiley faces for that. Everyone likes a smiley face. LOL’s are just stupid.)

I sent Ivan a text today asking him how his weekend was. Usually, I like to wait for a guy to text me first, but since I was a bit unreachable on Friday (and because Leo is becoming slightly relationshipy) I decided to text him to let him know that I was still interested. Ivan responded to my text right away, and he wanted to do dinner tonight but I had already eaten by the time I texted him.

We agreed to do drinks (via text. HELLO, Daisy! Steve Harvey would not approve), and I met him at the same bar that I went to with Mark, my first date after The Breakup and the guy who was already drunk when I met him at the bar. I think that bar is just not a good first date bar. I’ll have to remember that in the future.

Perhaps we could be friends.

Ivan showed up a little late, and he was very laid back during the entire date. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate laid back guys, but this guy was wearing flip-flops with ripped jeans and a polo shirt. This might work for some guys, but I felt as if I put much more thought and effort into my outfit than he did, and it only took me thirty minutes to get ready for the date. Including a shower.

We had some good conversations, but I just didn’t feel the spark. I had two drinks, Ivan had three, and he volunteered to pay for the drinks at the end of the night. Then he threw fifty bucks on the table for our bill that was forty-six dollars and some change, and he promptly left for the bathroom. While he was gone, I paid for my drinks and left the remainder of his cash as a tip.

Regardless of the poor tip and the lack of butterflies, I was still open to a second date with Ivan until he asked me for a ride home. Sound familiar? Mark asked me for a ride home, too. I’m telling you, this bar is cursed for first dates.

You need a ride? Really?

I agreed to drive Ivan home partially because we were friends in college, but also because he would have been stranded at the bar had I refused. On the drive home I realized that he was drunk (I don’t know if he had drinks before our date, but based on his behavior and body language I think he had), and he explained to me that he was letting his mom borrow his car while hers is in the shop. That is honorable and all, but he shouldn’t have asked me out if he didn’t have a car.

Oh, and when I pulled up to his house, he asked me if I would like to come in for a tour. I declined.

In case you missed them (or I didn’t mention them), here are the signs that I so stupidly ignored:

  1. Ivan waited two weeks to text me after getting my number.
  2. He waited until almost 9:00 on a Friday night to ask me out – and he wanted to go out that same night.
  3. When I sent him a text this evening, he wanted to go out tonight, but he took two hours to let me know when and where we would meet. Even after agreeing on a time he was fifteen minutes late (perhaps he was hooking up with someone else before the date, kind of like how I hooked up with Viper before my date with Mark).

Perhaps I am over analyzing the situation, but I am a language arts teacher. That is what I do.

Please Don’t Talk During Sex. Thanks.

15 Jun

Back in April I met Adam, the captain of our softball league. I’ve been meaning to write about him for a while, so this is post is a bit overdue.

Meeting Adam

At the beginning of this semester I made friends with Carrie, another young teacher from my district. We had plans to go to a popular country bar in town, so I donned my new boots and my rhinestone cowgirl hat and drove to Carrie’s house. When I found her house, a few of her friends were already there. Including Adam.

Adam and I bonded over our love of country music, and I teased him for wearing a cardigan and a faux-hawk. He kept calling me a “peach” and he asked me to dance a few times. By the end of the night, he had my number and we kissed goodnight at Carrie’s front door.

I woke up on Carrie’s couch early the next morning ready to go home, but I had drunkenly given my car keys to Adam in the parking lot the night before and forgot to get them back from him. When he came back to Carrie’s house to return my car keys, Carrie oh-so-thoughtfully brought up my bookroom sexcapades in front of Adam. Swell.

Naked Adam

I didn’t really hear from Adam again (shocking!) until Carrie and I ran into him at a baseball game about a month later. After the game Adam invited me to watch a movie with him at his house where we drank wine and ate frozen mashed bananas with chocolate sauce. Naturally one thing led to another and we ended up making-out on his couch.

Originally, I didn’t want to have sex with him so soon, but after an hour or two of foreplay and a couple more glasses of wine, I gave in. The sex was good in the beginning, and it was adventurous too. We moved from bedroom to living room to kitchen and then back to bedroom. Then he went soft. Literally.

Just as we moved back to the bedroom, Adam decided to ask me a question:

Adam: “Is the bookroom better than this?”

Me: “No!”

 Adam: “Really?”

He seemed surprised by my answer, so I felt the need to explain.

Me: “Of course not! It’s a bookroom. It sucks.”

By this point he started to go soft, so I too decided to suck. It didn’t work. WTF?!

Adam: “I think we had a miscommunication.”

 Me: “Clearly.”

 Adam: “I asked you if this was better than the bookroom, and you said no.”

Oops.

Me: “Ooh, I heard, ‘Is the bookroom better.’ Of course this is better than the bookroom!”

 By that point the sex was over, even though he didn’t finish. I rolled off of him and got dressed. We hung out for a little bit longer and he wanted to finish what we started, but the moment had passed. He walked me out to my car and kissed me goodnight, and we agreed that we would do it again sometime.

It’s been a month, and it hasn’t happened again.

I know the Adam story isn’t over yet because since that night he has given me some signs that he is still interested – but that’ll be another blog post.

Lingering Thoughts

  • Who brings up past sex partners in the middle of sex?!?!
  • Adam must be very insecure to feel the need to ask me for validation.
  • Carrie has a big mouth and I am never telling her anything ever again.

Daisy’s Drunken Rum Cake and Glaze

14 Jun

As I’ve already stated in my past post, “Cookies – Oven = Perfection“, every single girl needs to have mastered the recipe for at least one tasty delight. The second of my two mastered recipes is below. Just a heads up: this recipe is more complicated than my no bake fudge cookies and requires some fancy pants kitchen tools. Okay, so maybe just an electric mixer (handheld is okay) and a bunt pan, but those two items are pretty darn fancy pants for my shoebox of a kitchen.

The recipe for the cake and the glaze is below, and because I was a little camera happy while cooking I’ve also included step by step directions with left-handed pictures!

Step one: Assemble ingredients and fancy pants kitchen tools*.

*Handheld electric mixer not shown, although you can see the cord.

Step Two: Combine all ingredients (except pecans if you choose to add them. I didn’t.)

Step Three: Mix with electric mixer for two minutes*.

*You will still have some lumps at the end of the two minutes, so I suggest you set a timer. Don’t try to get all of the lumps out.

Step Four: Grease and flour bunt pan.

*I suggest sprinkling the bottom and sides of the pan with a little bit of flour to keep the cake from sticking.

Step Five: Pour batter into pan and bake at 325°F for forty to fifty minutes.

The edges should be golden brown, and the cake should be spongy to the touch.

Step Six: Allow the cake to cool for at least ten minutes, the flip the cake onto the serving platter.

It may be helpful to use a small spatula to loosen the sides of the cake from the edges of the pan before flipping it. A knife also works, but you may ruin your bunt pan. Do this by sticking the spatula between the cake and the pan in an up and down motion.

You can see the flour that I used to keep the cake from sticking to the pan. Once you add the glaze to the cake, you can’t see or taste the flour.

Step Seven: Assemble ingredients for Daisy’s Drunken Rum Cake Glaze

Step Eight: Melt butter in large sauce pan. Once butter is mostly melted, add sugar and rum.

Once the mixture starts to boil, set a timer for two minutes (three minutes if you will be serving to children).

Step Nine: Pour half of the glaze mixture over the cake.

Wait ten minutes before pouring the rest of the glaze over the cake.

Step Ten: Use a spoon to saturate the cake with excess glaze that collects in the center and on the sides of the cake.

Step Eleven: I sprinkled some powdered sugar onto my cake for visual appeal, although this is not necessary.

Notice how the glaze thickens the longer it sits. Once I got to the party, I spooned the rest of the glaze onto the cake. Because it was so thick, it behaved more like a frosting than a glaze.

Next time I make this, I am going to try using some coconut rum with shredded coconut and pineapple slices on top. What do you think?

Enjoy!

Daisy’s Drunken Rum Cake

1 box Duncan Hines Butter Cake Mix

1 box vanilla pudding and pie mix

½ cup canola oil

4 eggs

¾ cup light rum

½ cup chopped pecans (optional)

Directions: Pre-heat oven to 325°F. Combine all ingredients (except pecans) and mix with electric mixer for two minutes. Pour into greased bunt pan and bake for 40-50 minutes or until golden brown.

Daisy’s Drunken Rum Cake Glaze

1 cup sugar

1 stick butter

½ cup rum

Directions: Boil butter, sugar, and rum together for 2-3 minutes. Pour half of the mixture over rum cake. Wait ten minutes, then add the remainder. Continue to spoon extra glaze onto cake for best results.

The Gentle Giant

6 Jun

*Interesting Observation*

I have better luck meeting decent men in bars when I am sober.

So I met a new boy man this past weekend. His name is Leo, and he is in the military. He is also more than a foot taller than I am, which is kind of fun.

Meeting Leo

Friday night I went to a popular country bar with a couple of friends. I volunteered to be the designated driver since I had my first softball league practice the following morning, and I really just wanted to two-step the night away.

After dancing with a couple of older men and a few young frogs, Leo approached our table and asked all of us if we would like a drink. I found this quite impressive considering most guys only offer to buy a drink for the girl he is hitting on. The girls declined the drink offer but suggested that Leo ask me to dance. Poor guy got a little flustered insisting that he couldn’t dance the two-step and that he hadn’t danced in years.

He danced with me anyway – that is if you could call what we did dancing. Really, we just skipped around on the dance floor and sang along to the music at the top of our lungs while he spun me around and around. I had a blast! After the first dance, we had a nice long conversation at the bar while Leo drank another beer. I did notice that he talked a little bit more than I am used to, but he also had a few drinks already so I gave him the benefit of the doubt.

After a while I felt a little bad for neglecting my friends, so I made my way over to the table while Leo visited with an old friend from college. After a couple of songs had passed, a sweet looking nerdy guy asked me if I would dance with him. I didn’t really want to because I was into Leo, but the girls insisted that I dance with him.

After my dance, I looked around for Leo. He was easily the tallest guy in the bar, so I found him pretty quickly – talking to a couple of skanky looking blonde girls (and I am not saying that out of jealousy. These girls were wearing super short, tight dresses and fuck-me heels that would be much more appropriate for a Vegas night club or the local red-light district – not for a country bar with a mechanical bull). I shrugged it off and went back to my table.

Not even four minutes passed before Leo was back at our table. He pulled me close to him and said, “Hey, I just want you to know that I am over there talking to those two blonde girls, but I would much rather be over here talking to you.”

I wanted to say, Well then why aren’t you? But instead I said with a friendly smile, “Yeah, I saw you over there.”

Leo explained further, “It’s just that my buddy is trying to hook up with one of them, and he needs my help.”

“Ooh, so you are playing wingman?”

“Pretty much. But I would really rather be over here with you.”

I smiled at him and said, “Go be the wingman, don’t worry about me. I’ll just dance while I wait for you to come back.”

I don’t think he liked my response, because he didn’t leave my side for the rest of the night.

Dinner with Leo

I gave Leo my number before leaving the country bar, and he sent me a text before I got home that night asking me to dinner. I turned him down for two reasons:

  1. Steve Harvey says to never accept a date when asked via text.
  2. I already had plans for Saturday night.

I did talk to Leo on the phone for a whopping five hours that weekend, and since he called me, I went to dinner with him on Monday night. It was delicious – and also only the second date I had been on since breaking up with The Ex. Let me tell you, this date went much better than the first.

  • Leo got out of the car and opened the door for me.
  • When we got to the restaurant, he opened the door to let me out of the car. Geez.
  • He made sure to pull my chair out for me.
  • He was very polite to the waiter.
  • He kissed me at the door and then asked if he could take me on a hike the next day. I agreed.

Okay, so maybe I am easy to impress, but compared to my other date since The Breakup this one was phenomenal. Plus, I can wear my super tall heels and still feel petite next to him.

The Super Sweaty Second Date

We went hiking on a nearby trail the next day. I’ll admit that I was kind of worried about hiking with him so early in our courtship because it isn’t the most glamorous activity, and early June tends to be hot and humid. I’m sure my hair was a mess the entire day, and my tank top had lovely sweat stains in some very unattractive places.

Leo didn’t care. In fact, he used it as an excuse to spray me with water from his water bottle.

After our hike, we went up to the peak of the mountain and found a rock that overlooked the valley below. It was beautiful, and we sat up there for over an hour. He kissed me on that rock a couple of times, which was very nice.

I won’t go into detail about what happened next. Basically, we just went back to my apartment to “watch a movie” and drink some wine. Two bottles later we decided it wouldn’t be safe for Leo to drive, so he slept in my bed. With me.

I know what you are thinking, but my pants stayed on all night long (and I should get mucho credit for that, because there were a few times where I really wanted to take them off).

I treated him to breakfast the next morning and we lounged around on the couch until noon watching the first season of How I Met Your Mother on DVD.

All in all, I would say it was good. Ooh, and the best part? Leo is only in town until the middle of July, which means that I don’t have to worry about a commitment. Woohoo!

Proposing via Text Message is SUPER Sexy. Not.

4 Jun

I was proposed to last week. Via text message. I’ll give you three guesses as to who sent it.

3…

2…

1…

Last Monday The Ex sent me a blurry picture of an engagement ring and this message, “This is here for you, and so am I. I need you in my life, and I need your forgiveness for the way I treated you, of which I am incredibly ashamed. I want to be a loving husband and father and I want to do that with you. Everybody misses you and still loves you, you were like a daughter to my parents and a sister to my brother. I would give anything for a chance to redeem myself and show you that I can be the guy that you first fell in love with.”

Ugh.

Luckily, I already had plans to have a bonfire with a friend of mine. We burned papers, bills, and old photographs while drinking wine. It was perfect. Oh, and I also sent Gary a sext. He came over the next day on his lunch break, and while I didn’t feed him food, he informed me that he had a very nice meal at my house.

Even though I didn’t want to, I called The Ex the next day. I felt like I needed to respond to his text proposal somehow, and a phone call seemed like the best way to tell him that he needs to move on with his life. Plus, I was enjoying the effects of post booty call bravery. The phone call didn’t go well.

We talked/yelled at each other for about forty-five minutes before I finally hung up on him. He proceeded to send me text message after text message, which I have thoughtfully typed out for you here:

“That did not make anything better for me, in fact it knocked me back two steps for the one of progress I made, thanks a lot”

And a few minutes later…

“Yeah, you have a great life too, knowing that you broke my heart”

A few minutes more…

“I can’t move on without a chance to redeem myself”

A few more minutes passed…

“This is my last text to you, I am sorry for everything I ever did to you, I wish things could’ve been different, I will always love you with all my heart, you are such an amazing person, and thank you for still believing in me. I love you, good bye.”

Twenty minutes later…

“Sorry, but I just remembered, can you please defriend the band on Facebook, thats one of the reasons I texted you that yesterday because i saw how beautiful you are and that’s not making it easy for me to move on, seeing what I lost. I don’t have time to do it now, so can you please do that for me.”

I still didn’t respond. He sent another text two hours later.

“I don’t care about the false home the recruiter gave you about me getting in [to the military], but it wasn’t my fault that I didn’t get in, that really hurt. Also, I don’t want Sebastian.”

I finally responded saying:

“I figured. Now leave me alone.”

 To which he replied…

“With pleasure!!!”

And I haven’t heard from him since. Hopefully now he can move on.